No place to start…

Hello to all, and I think most of you can still read my words. Today it will be I  very random with my life being the focal part. As the eldest child, my life appeared to revolve 457805 around a family where I was the only child with good health, so I was the ‘Cinderella’ and filled the demands Ma had for me. Sadly the hugs, kisses, and praise was never attached, I was just the fat, useless child (it was discovered I have dyslexia nearly 25 years later). By the time I left school I had a major ‘, I am unloveable, unless, the overweight young lady who would never go very far in life. 

The man I married continued with this wonderful groundwork. Not long after our son was born and he left so I raised the children on my own. Yes, the family blame me for him leaving…still do to this day. I covered all the scars and carried on as the though one I had been conditioned to be. Now I have had as much as I can take and they is no one for me. No family, no government departments, no friends.

It is scaring the hell out of me – what happens the day I wake and cannot face yet another day without someone to help me through the day. 

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Testing to see if this is working…

calisan-kadinlarThis is a short blog as I think I am having problems with my computer. It is nearly as old as me and adds the brain damage I have from my coma, which the doctors still do not have any idea how bad it is, means I may have done something I should not have. Thank you for your help. 

 

 

 

Each new day is magical…

Hi to all and I hope that your day has been good for you. I spent most of today sleeping and getting up to visit the toilet or have painkillers, tablets, and food….yes in that order, whilst I am happy with my efforts in the past two weeks it is really pushing me.

I had one of my friends on the Island ring this morning to organise a coffee morning for Tuesday and I am really looking forward to it. I have not had the time to see her in a few weeks so it will be to catch up on the gossip. 

I am going to focus on the house tomorrow and start with my room so I can make it into a working den. I really want to get this parenting guide up and running as it is an important project. I am going to work on building my skills back up to where they should be. I need to be available to read, write and speak as I could before.

I helped people who were where I am, I read about them over the years and it can be down to I simply need to set out the stairs set out. I need to get back to the person who could do the week I have had and NOT have to sleep the full day to recover. 

I am going to have a long soak, fresh Queensland banana smoothie and watch the Avengers. I hope your Sunday is perfect. uni-unicorns-9274157-400-320

Life is to short to be serious!

A wonderful hello to all and I hope that everyone has their weekend planned for a relaxing one. This blog will be a short one as I have had a full week and think I will just have an early evening. I have had a good one although it has been a little on the tiring side. Who would have thought that my daughter could possibly have been correct when she told me that I needed to go and do things, not just hide in the house and only go out when I was forced too

0f29fc9ac08066f9a9e3fbaccd5c444fToday I had to visit with my psychologist and I am having a bad day so I was expected it to be very difficult, yes I am in pain and I am having heaps of issue with my memory, but I did what I had to do without too many issues. I was late for my psychologist, but I had done my food buying and got my coffee, so all was good.  I had a simple dinner but am going to have to do some serious cooking tomorrow as I have got the full weeks meals. I have always been a weekend cook and I reckon if I am going to build myself a new life I should have the bits I liked.

I am going to create new cookbooks veggie strong, meal lean and really use the FRESH herbs and spices. Since I have had my stroke I have noticed that my taste has really changed so this will be fun.  I am also going to explore the difference in styles of food and when we eat it. I was raised to have cereal in the morning and lamb chops with veggies as the night meal but those some of the food sites I have been looking at have what would be considered an evening meal set out as a morning meal…it looks great. 

Thank you for dropping by and having a read of my blog. I hope you have a delightful weekend.

Back to the drawing board….

Well, I hope that you are all in a great place and really good. I have been doing some ‘feel good’ type reading from those books I purchased yesterday and dosing. I have found the books really good as the expense involved is very little ie use a bag of flour as a weight and so on. This has made me feel really happy because I can then set them up as I feel like on any other day, and I will not feel like a useless person.

I know that going back to work again is most certainly out of my doing, however, I have so many skills I can find something to do…tutor, writer, library reader for their junior mornings interaction with, doing a parenting facebook – look at what your child’s strengths and work with the page so I can share with parents and it will also enable parents to post problems for feedback.

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Lost my extra weight and get this 56 year old body back to being able to do what it could – full triathlons, run up the Pyramid at Gordonville , Sydney jog, money raising run in Brisbane for school extras, Melbourne City Run because it made me feel good but there was always someone who benefited from these activities. I would ride my bike to the gym, do an aerobic work out, this was after I had swum a mile along the Cairns Machan Beach waterfront, before riding the bike back home, shower and ride to work. The scales would come in at 64 kgs give or take (even though I am meant to be 54) but I was happy and could wake at 3 in the morning do everything I wanted to do (I was in a job that is a male job so I had plenty of weightlifting and coped with it no problems). I raised the kids on my own and did 2 degrees, volunteered at their school, worked at the University library and managed to find new and exciting activities for the neighbour kids to do most weekends. In Brisbane, the city council has school kids fares on the weekends at a zero cost so I did not have to worry about where we would go.

Now that I have stopped feeling sorry for myself, and yes I have lost a lot of the skills I have counted as my assets for the better part of my life, people die at any age and feeling sorry for myself will not stop it from happening but it will certainly waste what I have left of it. I need to get myself into the body I had, psychically able to do what it could do, work toward rebuilding the brain to its former self and take it from there.

07b410ded93124a2274cd71265a8902cI can tell you all that I will get the act into place I have forgotten about. I have so many of yesterdays workout good so all I have to do is repeat the performance tomorrow. Looking at my new books and being silly doing the puzzle book for today does not make me feel naughty, and on my off days, I in can do this all will be good.

Thank you again for reading this though as I repeat it enough times to get it into my brain so that it is set as the main activity to do. I hope you all have a heavenly nights sleep and a wonderful day.

The journey is moving…

Hello to all and thank you for dropping by to see what I have been up to. Before I venture into my day I am going to say that I hope you all have had a wonderful night or day depending on where in the world you are. 

  newjourneyI visited the daycare centre and the manager said that she would be happy to have me on the days I felt I could cope and I was so happy because she agreed with me that the medical condition I have really do mean that I can not work with our little people as the central teacher. After that, I went off to get my new tablets and do the food shopping as I am serious about losing weight and if I can not achieve that at less make myself healthier.

I when to the newsagent to get a scratchy to go with my ‘feel good coffee’ and they were having a massive clearance of adult books – Calm Meditation made Simple: Walking for fitness: Yoga made Simple: Strength  Training, exercises for women,  so I purchased them and this way I can do what it want. I also got lavender oil (pure) to help with the sleeping. 

I am going to work on the total reinvention of me on all levels. There are days I am in that much pain that taking a breath of air just about kills me so I will rest in the bath with some good oils and an easy to read romance. On the days I have more energy I can go for a work, I am going to train myself to fill in the spaces I have not long got and monitor the progress.

Well, I am tired again and I thank you so much for reading the actions of my day. It does mean the world to me, I was so tired this evening when I got home but rather than going straight to bed I knew I had to do an update. I hope you all have a peaceful evening and a wonderful day xx

Writing to Friends…

pen and paperGood evening to all, a delightful hello and again this is going to be a quick blog. I am off tomorrow to meet with the manager of the daycare centre so I want to be able to show off my best side. I am really looking forward to being able to show what I can do and be working with little humans has always been a strength I have. 

I am still sore and have aches in places that I forgot I had but one of my fellow bloggers does marathons and I am using his blog to guide me. It is just a matter of achieving and tracking my improvement. When I just worked my way through it all it comes down to aches and pains laying in bed scared of dying and getting more and more depressed, or having all these aches and pains and getting myself together, ignore the voices in my head, and go for walks go to library, go for a coffee – the activities are endless. This daycare centre may not give me the job but I can volunteer for the 15 hours per week, so that I can start to rebuild my lost skills and have fun to teach little people what this wonderful world has out there for them.

I have also that this Island has a couple of centres with women in my age bracket with an illness like I have, and they get together to support each other so I am going to start to find out about them and joining up, I was a social person and I have lost any social interaction because I was seeing this as a punishment for all those years that I help those that Society ignored. The lady I met yesterday on the way home had her turn 10 years ago, she has a friend here on the Island that goes back about 3 years and is still finding her way. It was so nice to find others who are making a living with some of their important traits missing.

I am going to keep you all up to date, both good and bad, as I reinvent myself, some may just be a line or two, others will look like an early Ulysses. As a dyslexic who has spent 56 years  hiding it from the big people in the world I am going to share the missing bits but this time I am not going to hide my shortcomings but rather let the world see what I can fix up some and I have lost for good and asking for tips on how to overcome the problem.

Thank for reading through all of this and allowing me the freedom to write out my plans on paper. I hope that you have a restful night and a productive day.

Only one thing needs to change…

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Good evening to all, and I hope that you are in great form. I have that a really big day so this is going to be a short one, but good for me.   I started with the RLH Neurology Health Service Centre Clinic and the specialist spent over an hour with me and then he went and got the Head of the Department. After about another half hour these two wonderful doctors, I have had some of my meds changed and put me on a 4 month observation time frame, of course, if there is any change I am to get the ambos to bring me to the hospital ASAP. They are not too sure what it is but I am to keep a diary of my turns and the kids have to take notice of when I get up through the night and if I can have a conversation. If not they have to write it up and the doctors will review this when I go back.

With that all finished I had an appointment with the job network and I am to go into a daycare centre on the island (about 10 houses from our place) for 15 hours a week. I go in on Wednesday for an interview. I really would like to get this because I am really good with child and I know that if I have one of my odd moments the kids will just think it is a silly thing. So keep your fingers crossed for me as I would love to be able to work with our little people.

Well I did tell you it was going to be short and I have run out of energy, and have to get myself into bed. Thank you for sharing this with me, I am so excited and really looking forward to it. Have a good day or a peaceful evening.

 

Reinventing myself!

Image result for reinventing yourself at 50Good evening and I hope that your weekend has been kind to you. This will not be too long as I am sleepy and I have had a full day.

I have done my tasks today and am quite happy with what I have organised for the visit to the clinic tomorrow. I feel really good for what I did but I am not sure how much sense it will make. I am going to have a good, positive day tomorrow. I am really looking forward to taking my walk to the ferry, bus trip to the clinic. It will be really good to know just how serious my condition really is. 

I have been watching a new series that is a really good show “The Good Place” it is funny. I have worked my way through all that task that I set up for me tomorrow, which makes me feel good, and happy with the start of finding A NEW ME! I have some memory loss and the left-hand side is still not working properly, and the medical team have not given me an exact cause or just how much of my abilities I have lost.

I have added the web page that I spent some time to read today. It is lovely to read and really makes getting older a little less frightening. I am signing off as I have an early start and it will be a long day, so I hope that your day/night is good and you get a peaceful night sleep.

 

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The Feisty Fifties’ Club

Reinvent Yourself After 50! /thefeistyfiftiesclub.com/reinventing-yourself-after-50

 

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